Mothers are just People
In countries like India, mothers are treated like deities; we anyway like to deitify any person we remotely like in this country. It's a culture of excesses and loud emotions when it comes to talking in second person; else maybe not.
If one actually loves someone, they don’t need to limit the expression to a day. It can be done everyday, for consistency is a love language like no other. Simple acts of love like doing right by people, being there and being honest with your loved ones is enough.
What a lot of us know but don't acknowledge is that these designated days are just marketing gimmicks started by corporate America to sell more, make more profits and the cost you ask? It is you being exploited emotionally into keeping up with the Joneses. In a largely patriarchal world, why do we need a men's day for example! It means, following trends that entail putting up extravagant social media posts to show your love for your mother to the world at large. If feelings are real, they don't need to be a part of the reel world. Feelings felt needn't be validated. True love is in action only.
Also, it gets a bit much for those who don't like their parents. Also, our culture doesn't allow us to dislike our parents. But again, parents are just people. They, like people, may be great, not-so-great or simply atrocious. The latter isn't acceptable. Agreed, we spent an inordinate amount of time with them, which, is not by any means, optional. But proximity is not love.
A mother, in a developing country like India, isn't even asked whether she'd like to be one and it's the same story for a father. It's just expected. In a servile culture like ours, it is expected of them to live up to expectations. It is not fair on them either. To first make children they don't want and to love them also. But then we all put up a charade that shows that all hunky dory. It's not.
Have you liked all the people you've met in life? I can safely say that the answer is "no". How can a parent, just by the virtue of being a parent be a good person or be liked, then?
Just because someone went through a lot of pain to bring you to the world does not mean that they will love you. They may even hate you for shackling them. Or just may not like you as a person. Parents cannot shape you, they can just guide you, like shepherds. We are born with genes from a huge pool of people whose bloodline we fall in; our genetics are not limited to our immediate family.
Back in the days, dads would carry out their paternal duty of a caretaker and the head of the family and moms played the role of nurturers. However, what we become as people is not solely based on them but a huge prism of uncontrollable factors.
I feel that the only duty a parent has is to ensure that a child learns to think for herself. This is exactly where I see the entire world failing. The parents who manage to do this, are extraordinary and outliers.
Another reason why we are bound to be relatively closer to our parents in India is because, we are mostly economically backward and it's cheaper to live with them. We are also more like herds than individuals as a society.
This is more of an observation and less of a criticism. It is for and against mothers. They are just people and do not owe us "love" or anything. If they are great people, we're lucky, and if not, let our extended gene pool give us the strength to overcome all family led adversities.
